by Aaron Bronander
Well, that’s a tough question. There’s always a lot of factors that go into a decision like this but I’ll try to make it as simple as possible. We don’t like to get into medical histories in public but there are reasons to be concerned about having biological children, but that wasn’t even the deciding factor for us.
As we started having issues conceiving we were faced with two choices really.
- Start treatments. They may or may not work and in a few months/years we would be right back where we were when we started, only several heartbreaks and thousands of dollars later. We have friends and acquaintances who have gone this route to experience a lot of heartbreak. Some have experienced great joy when they were able to conceive. We had to decide if the heartbreak and the toll the process can take would be worth it.
- Look into adoption as a choice and not a last resort. It’s a decision we can make to invest the money, time, and effort into this route instead of the other. I am not belittling or looking down on anyone who has taken this route as a ‘final option’, but for us, that option has always been in play and was always very appealing to us.
In the early days of our marriage we decided to not try to have kids for a least a year. During that time, we talked a lot about our future family. We said that if it turned out we couldn’t have kids we would both be glad to adopt. When the time came to try and we ran into roadblock after roadblock we both realized that adoption wasn’t just an option on the table as a last resort, It was something we both wanted.
We actually know a few people who were adopted and have very positive experiences. Adoption was always a positive thing in our eyes. So, as we started thinking about how we wanted to make our family, my wife and I both kind of realized at the same time that adoption would be something we were both ready to take on.
We spent the next year or so thinking, praying, talking to our pastor, all of that. We actually decided to adopt about a year ago at the time of this writing, but we just finally took the plunge by opening up a savings fund, finding an agency, and starting to get the word out.
We have a big process ahead of us and a lot of money to raise, save, and work hard to earn. We also need to improve our own lives in order to be the kind of parents we need to be.
It’s an expensive and messy process, but we know it’s going to be worth it. We hope that you will be a part of this process, because we can’t do it alone. It’s our support systems, families and friends who will see us through this time and have a part in building our family.
I guess the bottom line is: we want to invest in a family that gives a child a chance at a great life that they may not have access to otherwise. We want them to be able to experience love, acceptance, and family.
That’s as good a reason as any.